Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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