Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
