he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
