this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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