I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
