I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
