I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
