Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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