So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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