Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I showed him my bush... on skype.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
