Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We just shotgunned beers for America
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
