I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
