If that was your dad, he is hot
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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