forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
