I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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