fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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