so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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