The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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