im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
