so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
