I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
