I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
