Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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