Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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