i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
