He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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