Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
