Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
