How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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