She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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