How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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