I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
