What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
