He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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