Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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