May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
