hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
