think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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