is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
