I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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