Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
