New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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