I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
