you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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