Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
as a side note pls kill me
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
