My girlfriend figured out who you are.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
