i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I have already put on my inside pants.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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