I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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