Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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