Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
